Blonde Moments or Parenting Moments . . . hmm?

Okay.  So no judging here.  I am going to share with you a few of the "blonde" things I have said or done since I've had children.  You know, those adorable little creatures who sneak away with your brain cells when you're not looking.  Even before they arrive they somehow manage to make you blonder. lol.

Here you are my dear friends, my blonde soul . . .   be gentle with it . . .

I should tell you first though,  I still have issues with deciding quickly which is my left hand and which is my right, I have been known to use my fingers as a calculator from time to time - okay - every time, and I confuse the word Lebanese with lesbian.  And sadly, this was way before kids could be blamed.   

BC (before children) I was a paralegal.  I did real estate closings daily.  Once I got pregnant though, the closings ran a bit less efficiently. If it was an a.m. closing, I would usually have to excuse myself to throw-up. Multiple times.  As if that wasn't distracting enough to the new home buyers, their attorney, their mortgage broker, and all other parties in the room, as the closing continued I would forget the names of simple things - say like the mortgage or deed.  The words WOULD NOT flow to my brain.   Picture also, I did not look pregnant at all. 

When my first two were little, we had a pool in the backyard.  One day I looked out the window and noticed the pool gate open.  In that "mom voice", you know, the one you get when you are momentarily terrified out of your mind, I yelled out, where is Nick (who was 1ish at the time).  To which my brother replied, "ahm.  you're holding him".    WOW!  He had officially become an appendage LOL!

A few years back I texted my oldest son Ryan and asked, "Where did the Spanish Inquisition happen?"   He didn't respond.  I had to look it up.  Spain just seemed too obvious to me. 

Before house phones were virtually obsolete, I misplaced 5 of them.   One time I was driving home and in the middle of the street where I turned to go into my subdivision I saw a phone in the road. It was mine. Smashed.  I had left it on the back of the Suburban, got distracted with kidlets,  and then drove off with it.  I did this more than once!  And if I didn't drive off with it, I lost it somewhere else.  Mark finally resorted to really really cheap house phones.

I love my blonde moments, they make funny memories, life much less dull, and make me laugh out loud.  And when you have one of those moments when you say to yourself, "I think these kids are making me go crazy", know this - they are!  But it is a beautiful, harmless crazy.

I also LOVE blonde jokes, like this OnStar spoof my brother told me about years ago.  BlondeStar. Ridiculous!  LOL.  And if you want to make someone feel really blonde - try this knock knock joke out my sons pulled on me . . .

You:  Hey, I have a great knock knock joke for you.
Them:  oh yeah,
You:  Yeah, you start
Them:  Knock Knock
;-)

For cute "bloody blonde" goodies, like the coaster pictured above, click here. 

(note:  not to digress, but . . . after the multiple phone loss incidents, plus a few other "crazy" things, I went to the doctor and found out my thyroid had basically shut down - soooo . . . it wasn't completely a blonde thing! Thyroid issues can make you feel depressed, unusually tired, and really really BLONDE.  Visit here to see the symptoms and whatnot of hypothyroidism.

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